“One day, when I went to the Commons as usual, I found Mr. Spenlow in the doorway looking extremely grave, and talking to himself. . . . Instead of returning my ‘Good-morning’ with his usual affability, he looked at me in a distant ceremonious manner, and coldly requested me to accompany him to a certain coffee-house. . . . I complied in a very uncomfortable state, and with a warm shooting all over me, as if my apprehensions were breaking out into buds.”
—David Copperfield, Chapter XXXVIII
Perhaps you’ve felt that “warm shooting” before—that twinge of guilt. David Copperfield’s conscience knows what’s coming. He’s been wooing his boss’s daughter behind his back, and he’s been caught!
As you might imagine, in the ensuing confrontation Mr. Spenlow forbids the marriage, but he generously promises to forget the whole episode if David will agree to forget his daughter Dora. He gives Copperfield a week to consider.
But the next day, when David returns to work he finds a strange turn of events: Spenlow has died in the night!
His impediment is abruptly removed! However, a more enduring pebble lodges in his shoe: his conscience.
His friend Agnes unfolds the truth: “I feel that your being secret and clandestine is not being like yourself.” Perhaps she’s right. All the sneaking about and hidden advances were not the David she knew. But if he had wronged Dora’s father, what could possibly be done about it now that he was dead?
. . .
I’ve been reading in 1 Peter the past few weeks, and I noticed how much he values a clean conscience (1 Pt 2:19; 3:16). In fact, Peter says that baptism is “as an appeal to God for a good conscience” (1 Peter 3:21). Having that nagging pebble of guilt removed from our shoes is a pretty good deal if you can find it.
Perhaps an overlooked appeal of the Christian life is that it gives you the ability to live with yourself. The gospel rescues us from a life of personal shame. It provides an external solution to our ongoing guilt problem.
It provides an external solution. After all, I’m the one weighed with guilt. I’m the one whose apprehensions are breaking out into buds again. If I’m also the one tasked with getting rid of that shame every time, that’s a life that will crush me.
But if I don’t have to drum up sham self-forgiveness, if I can be forgiven and accepted by another—by the very one I’ve sinned against—that’s quite an offer, as Peter reminds us. Sometimes we forget that we’re living in a world of people with pebble-filled shoes.
If you’ve ever been truly forgiven by someone else, you know how that feels. That’s a clean conscience.
Mr. Spenlow stayed dead; he cannot forgive Copperfield, and his guilt remains. There are many reasons Jesus came back from the grave. This is one: The Savior we’ve wronged has risen; he can forgive—and the precious gift of a clean conscience is for those who ask.
Bless The Oaks Academy
If you’ve been enjoying The Hutch Post for any length of time, you know that we are on a journey planting The Oaks Academy in Washington, PA. We’ve got Year 2 of the school coming his fall, and our kids are going to be hard at it in painting, history, theater, music, chemistry, and more.
If you’d like to bless The Oaks and want to be a part of building our school, you can support us by sending something fun from our Amazon Wish List. Thanks in advance for your help!
